i suppose that today is just like any other day. it used to be special, but it isn't any more. for me anyway. as funny as it sounds, i've been dreading today for the last several weeks because i need to let go of my past and walk with confidence into my future. i'm struggling.
so as has become my habit when feeling a little shaky, i turn to today's readings for the daily Mass. i've found that in the last several months, reading scripture calms my anxious spirit. i don't comb the pages looking for divine guidance, i just read the words and allow their old familiarity sink into my bones. today's gospel is from the book of Luke. the story is about the angel Gabriel coming to Mary and telling her she was to have a Son. the same scripture is the start of the prayer: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee... i love the gospel of Luke. and as i read the words, i thought of the young girl whose life was just turned on its head with the announcement. she didn't understand what was happening or how it could happen. yet in the end, she says "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” that is amazing faith.
but the line of this gospel reading that spoke to me comes a sentence above that. "for nothing will be impossible for God". i was looking for something to lift my spirits and i found it in that small sentence. my worst fears were realized and i'm still standing. do i have regrets? of course. but He's teaching me to not dwell on the past and to trust Him with my future. for someone who is so used to fending for myself, its a difficult lesson to learn. what i have learned is that when these feelings come, i can find solace and conviction in God's word.
nothing, not even me being happy again is impossible for God.
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