giving of myself

my tag line on Facebook is: to whom much is given, much is required. i have believed in that statement most of my adult life. i've been richly blessed. God looks after my sorry butt no matter what i end up getting into. a very good thing! lately, life has taken a downward turn. i've lost my dearest friend of almost 30 years, not to death or disease, but through a choice. for those of you who have shown tremendous concern, i am deeply appreciative of your support. some pain in life i've decided, just needs to be lived through. yes, the days are dark right now, but the sun will shine again. just not any time soon....

for more years than i can count, i've been struggling with volunteering. don't laugh. for those of you who really know me, it should come as no surprise that i churn stuff over and over in my head. it has bothered me that i don't volunteer. i give a significant portion of my earnings away to various charities, but have had this recurring angst because really i give nothing of myself. writing a check is easy. spending time doing, not so much.

so i've been looking at various volunteering opportunities and since i love dogs, decided to become an active member of a brittany rescue. they needed people to drive rescues to their new adoptive or foster homes. through this network of volunteers, dogs can be moved across the country. they do this almost every weekend. that's pretty amazing when you think about it. so i decided that if a transport needed me in this part of ohio, that i would sign up. that's pretty safe. how often could that happen? well, as it turns out, it happens. a lot. my first transport was an 11 year old going from indianapolis to vermont. a week later, my second was an 8 week old puppy. i got the last leg of that one and got to meet the foster family. so now i'm hooked. no, this hasn't made the pain of my loss magically disappear. my transports have been quiet dogs so in the silence of the long hours on the road, i have had plenty of time to revisit the events that led up my friend and i parting ways. what it does for me is to give me someone else to focus on besides myself. when i look into those soft, brown eyes, its hard to feel anything but peace. is this a fix for the hurt? too soon to tell. but just maybe in helping to save their lives, i'm saving my own.